This morning, i did the unusual things.. It has been an ages since i took breakfast.. I took my breakfast thing morning.. very unusual..
Ya, im trying to change my lifestyle.. I need to change it in order to make my life better.. Humans change time to time.. From the worst to the best.. Everyone need to change, but there are some people change from the best to the worst.. I wonder..
Anyway, today was slightly better, feeling very sick though.. Dono why i had a sore throat then suddenly started coughing from discrete math tutorial class onwards. But it's okie, at least i din't felt so sleepy in the class...
Yesterday, i received a sms from Chang Xi, and he asked me whether wan to extend the return date from 30 December 2006 to 1 Jan 2007.. I planned to go to Taiwan with them last sem.. But i think i cant make it.. Due to the situation now wont allow me to go, be'coz i have lots of tests during that time, it's quite impossible for me to skip those tests.. Same with Jia Phei, she cant go too, we will find the chance to tell Chang Xi.. I need to work harder in order to graduate, and then i can further my study at KL.. KL, where is a place meant alot alot to me.. Lots of my friends are staying there.. ya, Friends.. and i miss them so much.
Hope that tomorrow will be a much better day.. ^ ^
argh.. I have lots of tutorial works are waiting me to finish.. I miss those time when i was achild.. If there was something that could bring me back to the past, i would anything.. Haha..
This sem is getting tougher.. Well, it's just okie.. It's not the end yet.. The worst was my previous sem result.. I admit , i have been an easy-go-lucky type of student that was because i never liked studying all those bullshit theories.. But still, i need to pass all the subjects to make sure that i can graduate next year.. It's not the end yet.. Gambatte!
My great life is full of SHIT and it make my story GREAT.. My life right now is living hell.. I breathing in and accepting.. accepting the fact that i'm weak.. accepting the fact that i'm alone.. accepting the fact that i'm helpless.. and I'm also accepting the fact that there's hopefully a tomorrow or the next second for me to change.
Ya, I need to cry.. I need to bleed.. I need to fail.. and I need to learn..
The world is so so cruel.. It's okie.. I have nothing to do with it but to deal with it..
I saw this funny thing juz now.. Pigs can talk.. Take a look!
This morning, i went to college as usual.. Nothing much happened in the college..
In the evening, Daniel asked me go to Gurney together with him and watch movie.. So instead of do nothing at hostel, i went to Gurney with him.. We shared our stories and problems to each other.. He told me that he planned to buy a house at KL after he graduate.. and asked me to stay together with him once i move to KL.. I was so surprised be'coz he said that he'll rent me a room with a cheapest price..
I watched two movies together with him, the first 1 - Frostbiten and the second 1 - The Covenant.. Daniel Gor is going back to KL tomorrow.. I wish i could follow him back to KL, i really miss KL alot..
As he told me just now, my life is so complicated.. Well, i know what im doing right now.. Im able to think either it's good to me or bad.. And i wonder how long that i need to wait, only i have the courage to reveal it.. Anyway, i feel better now compared with past 2 days..
Someone told me that "You are not alone..".. Is that true? Im not alone? I wonder..
Im going to RedBox again with a group of friends tomorrow afternoon.. I really like to sing K, and it really help me alot, to release my pressures..
My health is not good lately.. Almost everynight headache.. and it was so painful.. I need to have more rest.. and now onward, i need to spend my money wisely.. Lots of things to buy..
I wonder sometimes.. What it would be like.. If it was you and me.. Againts the rumors.. Againts the jealousy.. Againts the fights.. I wonder..
Regarding the topic "Im hopeless", Suey just drop me a comment.. And i would like to share it here.. So touched..
i'm sorry to hear dat ur result is bad...u really need to work harder lo...gambateh lah!gogogo!!!
u so "xing fu" a...can go kl,i haven go there before but i believe n agree wif u dat their life really very complicated...
sometimes we hv many frends can listen to us but jz listen,they cannt help us too much...but i sure dat they sure will let us feel more comfortable but din settle our problem la...
Every problem dat we face must need ourself to slove it but not our frends...
Comfortable oso need some time... Or manybe time will let u forget any sadness; Or manybe time doent help u to forget any sadness.
Everything jz see how u treat them, wats ur state of mind...
I believe dat everyone are strong; they strong to see; they strong to listen wat ppl say; they strong to face the problem; they strong to say anything; n they oso strong to survive...
u say u act but i believe dat everyone oso act...hehe!!! u have the right to keep inside ur heart... If u feel u are wrong nvm, the important things is u noe u are wrong,u hv the strong to admit "i'm wrong"
Our life is so long, we cannt defend wat we have,if u can get back this is such a gud things; but if u cant get back jz let them go...
Even it is a hope but maybe it will come true...
So dun gv up easily, it is a beautiful world if v all hv a hope...
There were lots of things happpened in a sudden.. and it's depressed me alot alot..
My result was so so so bad.. I was so sad bout it.. But never mind, I still have the chance.. I need to work harder..
Last few days, I went to KL with Ronnie.. During the trip, i realised that P's life was so complicated.. I couldn't believe what i saw with my both eyes.. I wonder everything is changed? Ya, i was telling myself... everything is changed..
I keep asking myself, what is the role that "someone" plays inside my heart.. I wonder.. Everything was messed up..
I was so upset.. Although there are some people would like to share ur sadness.. They can only listen to my problem, but it doesnt help me.. It's hard to find someone who can make you feel comfortable.. make you feel better..
Im weak.. Never strong.. I try to act.. Keep it inside my heart.. But it's something i always do wrong..
I seem to have lost alot of things.. I was hoping I would get them back... But it's hopeless..
This morning i woke up at 8:00a.m... Be'coz of my lecture start on 9:00a.m.. I felt that it was still early, so i continued my dream again.. Oh my god, it was 9:20a.m.. Unfortunately, i overslept again, and i missed 1 lecture..
I turned on my computer and i chilled till 1:40p.m.+ on it.. Then i went to college.. During the lecture, Coffee told me that this friday has a replacement lecture for the Behavioral Science.. Sigh.. I need to skip that lecture, it's because i'll go to KL tomorrow night.. Miss Wahidah showed us the example of the assignment that we need to submit before week 8.. and then she told us that all of us must be a model and advertise a product.. Sweat..
After finished, i went to the CLS fair, which located at the foyer.. There was so crowded.. I walked back to my hostel... As usual, I sat infron of my computer, and read other ppl's blogs again..
Im going to KL with Ronnie tomorrow and we will meet ah gor again.. Before that, i'll go to cut my hair at the Prangin Mall.. So, i need to take the college bus again.. No choice, i do not have any transport here.. Haiz.. So sad, it's so incovenience...
Well, i was so moody and felt so pain just now.. But there is no one that i can share the pain with.. Perhaps, life is the greatest pain.. and no one will realises.. Im going insane..
17 Oct 206.. It was one of my God Bro's birthday.. - Calvin Gor Gor.. Happy Birthday to you and wish you all the best.. = This morning, I woke up at 10:40a.m... I was so tired but i still need to wake up.. My lecture start on 11:00a.m..
Well, on the way to college, i saw JingZi.. and She told me that she overslept.. Oh my God, i just noticed that it was already 11:09+a.m.. and I forgot to bring my bag, the most important thing was my student card was inside the bag.. but nevermind.. I still can enter the college.. know why? Luckily, i hv JiaPhei's student card inside my wallet.. I covered her face by using my finger.. and the guard din notice bout it.. Haha..
When I entered the hall, the lecturer - Ms. Florenzie Choong was there and she was going to start the lesson d.. Discrete Mathematical Strucres which is the level 3 subject.. It's tougher if compare with the Pre-calculas.. I hate Mathematical... I hate all the numbers, letters, formula.. They'll only make me headache.. No choice, i need to overcome it.. I need to do my best from this sem onward.. better than the previous one..
After finished the lecture, Ming Loong told me that Loo Shi Phei is the lecturer who incharge the subject - Principles of Information System for this sem.. She allowed me to attend the lecture and the tutorial class.. Actually i failed that subject last 2 sem, and till now i havent resit that paper.. I need to revise it and I need her help.. Maybe i can get some tips from her too..
Then I followed Looyuin them and we went to take our lunch at the coffeeshop where nearby a Pasar.. JingZi told us that her ex-bf was attached to another gal.. It was so sad when i heard this..
Around 1:50p.m.. we went back to the hostel respectively.. I got nothing to do at hostel and i was bored.. Turned on my computer, played some songs and viewed other ppl's blog.. While doing that, i received a msg from Jacob.. I was so excited be'coz i was too bored that time and no one chat with me.. He told me that he's quite happy today.. Anyway, Im glad to hear that.. At 5:20p.m.+, we ended the conversation..
Tunwey and Phei Hong picked me up, and we took our dinner at YamSheng together.. I felt so warm and comfortable while having dinner with them.. To me, they are my friend, a true friend, they will never be the back-stabber..
Well,actually, nothing much happened today..
There are some pictures that i would like to share with you all.. My fren from Peru sent it to me.. He edited those picture.. sweat... They're so funny..
Oo.. Im back to college.. I woke up at 8:30 this morning, and i was still tired.. Be'coz of i din't sleep well.. But i still need to attend the lecture, I had promised myself that i need to work harder than the previous sem.. This sem will be more tough than the previos.. I took a shower, changed my clothes.. and walked to college..
Unfortunately, today the first lecture was conducted by Miss Woo for the subject - Management Information System.. She is the most hardworking lecturer among the others in our college.. Her office room is juz like a "HELL".. No one can win her.. Haha After finished her lecture, we went to the corner and took our lunch there.. Then we continued with the Mr. Nikalus's lecture - Internet Programming.. On the way to the DKD, we cross the foyer and noticed that there were lots of stalls.. Oh, the SBS year 2 students were selling their products there..
I really dislike the way that Mr. Nikalus teach us.. It's so bore.. I was almost fall asleep inside the hall.. Perhaps, i need to bring some sweets along with me next time.. I heard something terrible from Mr. Nikalus.. He told us that DIT students's result is so worst.. and he said all the lecturer are finding the way to help us.. Maybe 80% of us cant even graduate next year.. 80%, i really cant imagine it.. There is 51 students doing this course.. 80%.. I hope im not one of them, who cant graduate next year.. I do not want to stay here anymore.. I wana further my study at KL but not here.. It's useless that im worry about my result of the previous sem.. I need to work harder, for sure.. I promised myself, diploma level is just two years..
I thought we planned to go Red Box after the class dismiss, but too bad.. We were too sleepy after his lecture, and we decided to cancel it..
Around 2:00+p.m. , I went back to my hostel.. I sat infront of my computer, and started to play with it.. Today i get to know a new friend, who is from Ampang.. 19 years old, chinese, Jacob.. Really nice to know him.. and he told me that he get my contact email from this blog.. Guys, he is a good listener, u all might chat with him as well when u all facing any problems.. He asked me a question.. What do you think about Life? I was stunned at the moment.. I do not know how to answer his question.. What is life anyway?
"Life got alot of stage" "Just depand on we want to follow or not" "If you believe there's a way, there's a way" "It's not hard, it's just that you want to, or not" "If everything so easy, that is not life anymore"
"Just dun push urself so hard" "you have to learn how to relax in order to face the obstacles" "life's tough ... at the same time, life can be beautiful" "just depend how you deal with your life"
"Once.. i thought my life is a mess, miserable, unlucky, but now i change my view" "Life can be so beautiful"
Finally, im back to Penang.. Thank to Ronnie that he was willing to pick me up from the bus terminal juz now.. We bought the bus ticket for this coming 19/10, and we planned to go KL together.. 8:30pm bus..
Dono why.. I feel so low now.. Maybe it's that Im a depressing person.. What's wrong with me? No one can tell me that... Because it's come from inside of me.. It's something that i will try and figure out..
It was a long long period since my last updated post.. Btw, i would like to share something here.. Past few days ago.. I spent my holiday at Shah Alam.. 11 days.. Kinda a long trip rite..
Actually, i purposely went there to accompany someone - My ah gor.. During the trip, i learnt and realised something there.. I accidentally met few of my frens, i found out some of them dare not to talk with me.. They don even know that i knew the truth long long time ago.. and yet they still wana cheat me.. That's wat i call "Mask".. When someone is still want to make use of me, he/she will juz act infron of me.. pretend that care bout me.. Call me with a sweet sweet sound.. But anyway, seem i knew the truth long time ago.. I learnt to beware of them.. That's it.
I was so happy that ah gor celebrated my birthday with me.. and that is the 1st time that someone who willing to spend whole day with me.. Tat day, i was so down.. Juz be'coz of most of my close frens dun even remember it.. Sad be'coz i din receive a little wish from them.. but never mind.. As i said before, im used to it..
I received a sms from ah gor.. Gor.. u never disappoint me.. be'coz it was a memorable trip to me.. Too bad.. time is running too fast.. 11 days.. too short to me.. Thx gor for gv-ing me such a wonderful birthday nite.. And thank to those who are still remember my birthday.. Lolz.. Thank you so much..
Im going back to penang on 2morrow morning.. School is re-open soon.. Ya, time is running too fast.. 3 weeks of my sem break.. and it's end like tis.. Hopefully, i dint fail any subject for my previous sem.. I still need to resit one subject.. and i promise someone not to fail any subject in the future.. It's kinda hard to me.. coz im .. LAZY.. Haiz.. i hate this kind of life.. I need to face lots of things/problems.. My coursemates, housemates, friends.. Hopefully this will be the Happy sem.. No more arguement.. >.<" God, pls lend me ur strength, and bless me often.. haha
I viewed Dolly's blog again juz now.. Felt that wat she wrote is so meaningful, and i would like to share it here again.. Stranger.. What is stranger? When we first met someone , we talk and try to know each other.. and become a fren.. Friendship is last-longer? We might hv the strange feeling again even tho we are fren.. But this time, the strange feeling is totally different when we first met..
Ya, what she wrote is right.. It happened to me before.. We used to be best friend, but coz of some misunderstanding.. Now we look like an enermy.. I tried to save the friendship between us.. but it's pointless.. Coz he said he dun hv interested to know and solve the problem between us.. It's okie.. Im telling myself.. It's okie.. = And now, i wonder what is a meaning of "True friend"? Could anyone answer my question?
